Looking back on all the craziness that has been happening in the past, well, forever, I've realized that this is my life. There's no normality at the end of the tunnel. The waves are never going to become tranquil. I'm never going to be in a completely steady position in the world - so why am I waiting for it?
I keep continuing to think that there will be some "right" time in my life to press on with my art work. As though there's going to be a peaceful span of existence where I can just sit down and crank out what I think would be an even pace of perfect projects.
That is crap. I'm stalling.
Having lost confidence in my work over time, I am terrified to even put pencil to paper. Pushing myself to wedge my way into the works, I've lost my own style in order to conform to what I see all around me - because people like it, because I like it. I've scrapped tons of projects just because I couldn't reach the bar I had set for myself. But if you can't look at my work and tell it apart from theirs or if I'm working night and day on one project only to get frustrated because it's not "good enough" compared to theirs; what the hell fun is it?
This being said, I am stripping down back to my own roots and working my way back up. Prepare for horrid anatomy, sketchy lines, poor color choices, fingerprints, ranting, and overall terrible work until I finally find a comfortable place, a decent pace.
What this Means:
- Digital work is being shelved and the drawing book is being dusted off.
- Spontaneous doodles, practice sheets, drawing basics, random abstract, and quick draws will be common.
- More crafting! I am currently working on yarn tails, learning to crotchet, and making various types of bags (messengers, totes, etc.).
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My Goals:
- Try to do more mixed-media pieces involving traditional mediums. Stepping out of my comfort zone!
- Finding happiness and relaxation in creating artwork that can be shared with you all. Like in the old days!
- Being myself ^w^
- Express the various emotions life brings and share how I've managed to pull through with the help that I've found over time through family, friends, and the love I actually stumbled upon right here on this very site.
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That's it for now!
Tune in next time, much love
Kazeiyx (Kovi A Zeiyx)